he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
