To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
