We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
