This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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