Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
