fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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