You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize