she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
