The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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