maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
its not stalking. its research.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
