the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
