Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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