Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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