Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize