i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
