stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
