you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
