fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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