brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
