shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
