Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize