Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
