accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
