I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
