I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
