i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
