i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
