Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
