i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
