Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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