I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
