Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
