it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
