Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
