does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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