the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
