the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
