They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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