We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
