also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
