i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
