wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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