what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
