You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I pour the whiskey from now on
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
