so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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