After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just tell him i said nine months
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
