Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
