Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize