Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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