The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
