It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
