My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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