I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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