Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
