I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This baby is an asshole
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
