Having a random hookup so left but love u
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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