Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
