Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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