roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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