How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
