Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
