Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
