I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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