Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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